i feel its unfair... that i am seeing someone but my mind is with someone else. well, maybe not all of my thoughts is with him, but most of the time i think about him. it feels awkward knowing that someone loves you but cannot give you what you need... a future. Martin will always be that guy, he will always love me no matter what happens and i believe that i will also love him no matter what happens, but he can never give me a marriage or a child.. he cannot give me a family that i have been dreaming, a dream that every woman would've wanted. I know there can never be a perfect family and i feel that it'll be a struggle for every couple. But its a struggle that i am willing to risk. But at the moment, i am battling in finding the right person for that journey. I am a risk taker, a survival of most of the adventures. What i cannot survive right now is the thought of being single forever, who will be forever be in companionship with someone who will never be mine.
I want a quiet and simple life. I want a family and i want a man who will stand up for me when the battle starts. Someone who will hold my hand under the fog where you can see nothing else but cloud.
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